- Every body please behave.
- Absolutely no vandalism - it always wastes the time of some body
- No bots Please - they speak for no body
- Maintain a fair degree of NPOV - unattributed opinions to [[Talk:]] if you must
- Don't write that Company X or Person Y is evil. Do that in Recyclopedia, Disinfopedia, Wikipedia or Wikinfo so we don't have to worry about Disinformation or being Biased so much yet.
- Do not edit Consumerium:Conventions, edit Consumerium_talk:Conventions instead. If the suggested convention makes sense (the Trolls and/or registered users agree that it's good or the supreme despot decides it's good) it will magically appear on the Conventions page.
- No-one, exept the owner of the User-page may edit that page. Any such attempts will be considered vandalism, reverted and history may be jettisoned if deemed necessary.
- If you people don't behave well, our sysop will pester you by force-feeding you Kit-Kat McFlurries until you explode.